Dear Beloveds,
​
As a way to illustrate the joining of two paths into marriage, I created this Rock & River Unity Ceremony for couples as a meaningful symbol to represent the deep commitment they've chosen to make on their wedding day. This is also a wonderful way to connect to the beautiful landscape of their altar. You can add it to your own ceremony!

Here's how it works: Each of you brings a rock to the ceremony - it can be from a place that holds special meaning to you, or you can go out the morning of your wedding to choose a rock. These rocks symbolize the strength and wholeness of each of you as an individual. These stones may also represent things like your love of outdoor activities, your spiritual connection to nature, the adventures you've shared and will share in the future, etc.

As the Officiant, I explain: "When placed in water rocks shine more brightly, show more of their true color, and appear more polished. It is also the turbulence of water that smooths the rougher edges of jagged rocks. When times get tough, may the water be a symbol of the power of divine Love in your lives. May you remember to express more love during the challenging moments, helping each of you – like the rocks – to become less jagged, to shine more, and to be seen for your true colors."

The couple then walks together to the river (or lake, ocean) that is nearby to toss in the rocks. If the ceremony is not taking place near a body of water, you can place the rocks in a bowl of river/lake/ocean water at the altar to be poured back into the body of water it was pulled from. The rest of the ceremony (vow, rings, etc.) can commence from there!

Dear Beloveds,

Just as your love is like no other, your marriage will be like no other. We talk about marriage as if it means the same for everyone. However, the elements that make for a strong marital foundation come down to the shared vision and values that are unique to each couple. When working with Brides & Grooms on their ceremony, I always ask for them to create their very own "Foundation of Marriage Statement."

Here are the questions I provide for each couple to help them for design their statement: 

• What is important about your relationship to you?
• What makes it work more than anything else?
• Naming 3-5 key qualities, like communication or laughter, that have helped bring you both this far in your love story.
• Feel free to tie your statement to a metaphor (or not) - something that anchors your statement for you. 
• What qualities do the two of you practice to make sure you get and stay on the same page? Communication? Tenderness? Listening? Laughing at yourselves and each other? Affection? Etc.
• ​What makes your love work?